Recently my wife, who is an excellent cook decided to be a computer buff. When she announced her intentions of using my pentium as a guinea pig for her computing lessons, I regretted the untimely upgradation of my computer. To me my computer is my passion but to her its nothing more than a microwave with a keyboard.
First week was a disaster. I was unable to recognize my own computer room.She completely changed the overall layout of the room similar to what Isreal is doing these days to Palestine. Most of my precious junk including my Khori Garden magazines were converted into Pak Rupees after it was put on for sale. These magazines were replaced with cooking magazines and CDs. In short, Bill Gates is out, Balti cooking is in.
I explained her the difference between a Central Processing Unit (CPU) and a Food Processor. The concept was crystal clear, when I linked the concept of CPU with microwave and explained the analogy of GIGO i.e Garbage In Garbage Out, the theory behind processing started to make some sense to her.
Though terms hardware, software, uploading and downloading are almost life threatening at our place but I am sure every couple can very easily associate these terms with their own experiences. During volatile situations, if you see uploading of in-expensive items to be thrown or downloaded at the spouse, that’s what I call software, whereas, if you need to install or wear safety gear in order to safeguard yourself against static hard flying objects, beware these are hardware items. This extra hurricular activity along with the opera of sounds and scenes can be termed as multimedia.
So far teaching was relatively easy but it took a 180 degree turn when she decided to go cyber by starting surfing to see what’s cooking on the net. To me its nothing less than a malfunction, instead of deleting my computer files, it started eating up my cash resources when I had to buy extra net hours.
The worst part now is to sign the following disclaimer before eating every lunch or dinner:
“Your wife disclaims any responsibility for or liability related to the performance or ingredients of the cuisines and other cooking related services that are accessible through kitchen. Any questions, complaints or claims should be directed to the respective website.”
She has decided to introduce the first ever cyber kitchen. That’s what I call backward integration. In cyber cafes, you can eat and surf, but in this case, you can also cook while surfing.
